June 13, 2012 / Uncategorized

Libriomancer Giveaway and Miscellaneous Wednesday Stuff

Jim C. Hines / Libriomancer /

The miscellaneous stuff first.

Author Saladin Ahmed asks for help as he’s fighting with with various physical, financial, and mental health issues. He also offers up a “Conan pastiche” short story, “Iron Eyes and the Watered-Down World.”

This cover for Catwoman #0. I don’t even … the only character I know of who could pull off that pose is Sergeant Schlock from Schlock Mercenary. However, enough people have dared me that I’m considering trying the pose myself to see how close I could get. I need to check my health insurance coverage first, though.

The Parent du Jour has an interview with me where I talk about being a Dad, my strengths and weaknesses as a parent, and some of my best and worst moments.

We watched the first two episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender last night. Aang is tremendous fun. Note to self – do not watch this with my son right before bedtime, because he gets too worked up and has to run around pretending to be a bender.

There are close to 250 comments on my post about boundaries on my website and LJ. Thank you for some great discussion. All of this says to me that we really need to talk about this stuff more.

Libriomancer [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy] Tidbits
- The Goodreads Giveaway is still going strong, with 20 copies available.
- And Publishers Weekly gave the book a starred review, saying it was, “amusing and action-packed from page one; Isaac is sure to be an instant fan favorite, and the secondary characters are vivid and multidimensional.” ::Happyauthorbounce::

I’ve got two more advance review copies of Libriomancer sitting at home, and I want to give them away. If you want one, all you have to do is leave a comment telling me why you should get it. (If you’re commenting anonymously, please make sure I have a way to get in touch with you if you win.)

Be as serious or ridiculous as you want.

“I want it because I’m Tim Burton and I want to make a Libriomancer movie starring Johnny Depp as Smudge!”
“I want it because librarians are sexy-awesome!”
“I will review it everywhere and tattoo the first chapter on my body!”

I’ll pick two winners on June 20. One ARC will go to whoever leaves the best (in my opinion) reason, and the other will be drawn completely at random from all the entries.

This is not limited to U.S. residents. I’ll mail the books anywhere in the world.

Have fun!

65 Comments

TheSFReader
June 13, 2012 @ 9:43 am

I want one to learn and become The Last Libriomancer.
Deb
June 13, 2012 @ 9:46 am

I want it because I am a sexy-awesome librarian, and because I’m vivid and multi-dimensional.
Jim C. Hines
June 13, 2012 @ 9:52 am

Yes. Yes you are 🙂
JRVogt
June 13, 2012 @ 9:57 am

Let’s see.

Serious reason: I’d love to review it on my Speculative Fiction Examiner.com column.

Not-so-serious reason: Whenever I see that Catwoman cover online, I can hold the book up in front of it, replacing an incredibly stupid fantasy with a much more believable and entertaining one.
Orla
June 13, 2012 @ 10:15 am

I don’t have a reason to be more deserving than anyone else but I’m really looking forward to reading it…
Lindsay
June 13, 2012 @ 10:21 am

I would love a copy of Libriomancer because, as a YA paranormal author myself who is wreaking havoc with the genre balance, this book pretty much fulfills my lifelong dream of being a supervillainness.
Stephen A. Watkins
June 13, 2012 @ 10:29 am

Hmm. I want it, that thereby I may ingest it and gain power from the Libriomancer story contained therein with which to fuel my rise to power as an author of sublime and acclaimed ability – weaving such stories as might fill a magic library. Having written such stories, and holding the world in thrall to the words of my magical books, I will then be poised to achieve my final and true goal: world domination. Having thereafter achieved such domination, I will bring free puppies and kitties to the world. And more magical books.

Join me in this quest.

Oh, who’m I kidding? I’d read it, and I’d review it. But I’m a slow reader, so by the time I’d reviewed it, it would probably be too late to do any good. 🙁
Paul (@princejvstin)
June 13, 2012 @ 10:50 am

Why me?
Serious reason: I’ll review it on SF Signal or the Functional Nerds

Not so serious reason: Because I nearly died laughing looking at those poses of fantasy covers you’ve done, and you owe me for getting my co-workers to stare at me!
fractal
June 13, 2012 @ 10:55 am

If I don’t win, I’ll buy it anyway, but I can’t NOT try for a free book.
misha
June 13, 2012 @ 10:59 am

Because.
Andrew Betts
June 13, 2012 @ 11:06 am

I would like a copy because I fell in love with the concept in “Mightier Than The Sword” … and also I’m Batman!
Brenda
June 13, 2012 @ 11:09 am

I want it because I am a bibliophile and if I had magic powers, libriomancy would be one of them. Probably chronomancy too just so I’d have time to be a libriomancer. Right now I’m just a yarnomancer. I know, I want it so I have a valid excuse to take a break from my (insane) yarnomancy to read it. ~nods~
Verity
June 13, 2012 @ 11:17 am

I want a free because I’ve been a fan since the goblin trilogy and LOVE the fairytale princess books! As a fan off Giles on Buffy and Noah Wyle in the librarian movies, I can’t wait to see your take on librarians:)
Hazmatilda
June 13, 2012 @ 11:19 am

As a new follower of your blog (I found you because of your sexy romance covers – spectacularly done by the way) and who is rediscovering her love of fantasy and YA novels when she is well past being a YA, I would love a copy of Libriomancer. I’ve been impressed with what I’ve found on your website since then. I guess you could say that I came for the beefcake (cheesecake?) but stayed for the substance.
Mike (@NewGuyMike)
June 13, 2012 @ 11:38 am

I’d like one because you’ve sold me as a person first which makes me all the more eager to read your words. And the postal system is being really really slow in getting my first Goblin book to me.
Whitney
June 13, 2012 @ 12:12 pm

I want it because I collect science fiction and fantasy ARCs! Ostensibly, this is because I’m an aspiring writer and a obsessed about all things books and publishing. But I think I can trust you with the real reason: I actually collect them and, using my writerly craft of magic, summon the mage out of my manuscript-in-progress to perform a Spell of Successfulness on all the ARCs I get my paws on. With the help of a little magic, and of course the amazing storytelling courtesy of the authors, the books just can’t help but be successful once official release day rolls around. 😀
checarina
June 13, 2012 @ 12:23 pm

I want it because I’m building a book-fort and need a book-brick of precisely that shape and size.
mattw
June 13, 2012 @ 12:36 pm

I want one because I’m convinced that if I pull out every 13th letter that it will provide me with a code to unlock the doorway to the land of nougat.
Pam Adams
June 13, 2012 @ 1:57 pm

I want it because my cats keep waking me in the night and I need something to read.
Douglas S.
June 13, 2012 @ 2:02 pm

I need Libriomancer to go with the other three goblin books that are holding up my reading table. Right now my serious books keep sliding off my reading table. I already have the four princess books holding up my chair so can’t spare any of those for my table. Won’t you think of my poor serious books sliding off my reading table?
sistercoyote
June 13, 2012 @ 3:26 pm

Fractal stole my answer. Also, because I may end up spending a great deal of time in hospitals or waiting for the results of tests and I like having one of your books to read in those stressful times.

And my Aunt enjoys them while she’s waiting for me to come out of the MRI.

(Nothing life-threatening, just frustrating.)
sistercoyote
June 13, 2012 @ 3:30 pm

Also, not related to the book giveaway:

I think maybe Plastic Man or Elasti-girl might be able to achieve this pose.

And you might also want to be sure you’ve got an orthopedist on your payroll, too, before you try it. I don’t think a chiropractor will be enough.
Chris
June 13, 2012 @ 4:19 pm

While not a Libriomancer tattoo, I’ve a Jig tattoo on my body. He went with the ‘blue’ theme. Book please?
Asylos
June 13, 2012 @ 5:21 pm

Id like to be entered in the draw simply because my budget right now doesn’t leave room for books.
Liz
June 13, 2012 @ 5:54 pm

I would like it because my mom’s a librarian, so I grew up in a library – I learned the alphabet sorting catalogue cards (a dead concept, I know), and today is my birthday. (June 13)

Also, regarding the Catwoman pose– you’ll also need to line up an air pump to inflate your butt… I may copy that cover to illustrate steatopygia for my classes.
Jim C. Hines
June 13, 2012 @ 5:55 pm

Happy birthday!

I was thinking about taping overinflated balloons to myself in strategic places to try to duplicate that pose.
Liviania
June 13, 2012 @ 6:01 pm

I want it so that I can go with Libriomancer perched on my head like a hat. Then, when people ask me what I’m doing, I can say, “I’m a libriobalancer!”
Kevin Hogan
June 13, 2012 @ 6:46 pm

I just want it because I want to read it.

Although I will note that I recently realized my epitaph should be:
“He knew how to show a girl a good time. He handed her a book.”
AngieBatgirl
June 13, 2012 @ 6:55 pm

I should get it because I’M BATMAN
redfred
June 13, 2012 @ 7:37 pm

i need it because my girlfriend, her 5 kids, 2 dogs, 2 birds, cat, turtle, 2 hamsters, fish and sister all live with me and sometimes i just need to get away…….
David Y
June 13, 2012 @ 9:00 pm

I need it because “free book” is the first thing I’ve understood on the blog all week.
Bren
June 13, 2012 @ 9:03 pm

I should get it ’cause when my friend and I were younger we made a pack to jump in the bookworld together, but at the last minute I chickened out and never jumped. Now years, after reading a message he left for me in an old battered copy of “The Hobbit”, I’m trying to read every book in order to read him out of bookworld.
Bran
June 13, 2012 @ 10:38 pm

Because I’ve not yet read any of your books, have just recently discovered you, am studying to be a YA librarian (with a serious SF/F interest), and am also obsessed with Avatar. My family just marathon-watched the whole series and rewatched what’s out so far in the Legend of Korra series. Oh, and my birthday is the 23rd (which is double awesome because I share it with the lyricist of the Grateful Dead) and really, only a free book could top that.
Mike
June 14, 2012 @ 6:43 am

Because I want to find out why all the good librarians are taken.
Sarah
June 14, 2012 @ 9:21 am

I want it so that I can spend the $11.99 I would have spent on buying myself a Kindle copy on buying a friend who hasn’t read your books a copy instead.
Melissa
June 14, 2012 @ 9:27 am

I want it because I work in a law library and want to imagine what it would be like to work in a library with really awesome books in it, not boring legal reality.
Alana
June 14, 2012 @ 10:38 am

I want it so that I can be the first to do Libriomancer cosplay at conventions.
Steve Buchheit
June 14, 2012 @ 2:12 pm

Because I heard you read from it at Penguicon, and if I don’t get to read it all the resulting gaping hole within my soul would devour all joy and happiness in the world leaving me an emotionally desiccated husk of a man. And I’m too cheap to buy it for myself.
Steven
June 14, 2012 @ 2:16 pm

Jim, you KNOW how good a proselytizer I can be in shilling your books. I think I pushed your then-unreleased Stepsister Scheme book harder than my own novel at the one Gen Con we both attended. 🙂 Thus, a comp copy would ensure more commentary and good word of mouth on your book far and wide (or at least those who’re listening to me on various social media sites).

Steven

PS: Congrats on the great reviews from Publishers Weekly et al; it’s making me all the more impatient to read this book.
Jennifer McBride
June 14, 2012 @ 3:51 pm

Greetings, human!

I write to tell you that your world is in peril. Gut-quaking, pants-wetting, sphincter-puckering peril. And only you can save it.

A poor, starving grad student trapped in her grandfather’s basement by the vile twin monsters THE RECESSION and LIBRARY FEES is desperate for things to read. She is so desperate that she is about to invoke a spell that will turn every human being into a walking book that she may open and flit through at will. While this may sound like a fine fate to you glasses-toting nerdlings, think of what would happen to your poor world when it rains! Think of the traffic accidents that will occur in the presence of life-sized Boris Vallejo covers! Think of thousands of paperbacks weeping black, inky tears down covers they cracked while trying to give hugs to their husky, Brandon Sanderson-sized children!

THEY WILL BREAK WHEN THEY HUG! THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED!

Can you stop this damsel-in-distress/incredibly evil witch? Can you break her addiction to maniacal laughter? There is but one way to appease her. Deliver more books to her at once, lest she rewrite the world to trap us all in her own PAPERY NIGHTMARE!

I trust you have the courage and foresight to do what is needed,

Sincerely,
Minerva, goddess of McGonagalling.
Poul
June 15, 2012 @ 4:02 am

I want it simply for the experience of reading one of your novels.
So far I havent gotten any of them (A fact that will change when the Goblin Omnibus is released) and having a ARC copy would be kind of cool.
Allso, I love smurfs, have since my early childhood and the love for them has never left. And just imagine how fun you could have with the magical powers from Libriomancer powers and a smurfbook 😀
Jim C. Hines
June 15, 2012 @ 11:02 am

Given a certain bit from the book, I find it tremendously entertaining that you mentioned Smurfs.
Andrew Betts
June 15, 2012 @ 12:01 pm

Wait, is this the Smurf bit mentioned in “Mightier than the Sword”?
Jim C. Hines
June 15, 2012 @ 12:04 pm

I think there’s a Smurf bit in the short story too, yes. (It’s a similar sort of thing in the book, because I liked that part a lot.)
KatG
June 16, 2012 @ 12:21 am

I was going to say that I want it because I’m carrying his baby, but right now I’m moving, so I vote to give it to SisterCoyote.

As for the Catwoman pose, absolutely not. You’ll break your insulin pump. She has no waist in the picture. It is a remarkable dichotomy of modern life that we’re begging the fashion industry and fashion magazines to stop making their female models anorexic and putting pubescent stick aliens in photos and meanwhile the comics industry is drawing females with such exaggerated sexual curves now that they wouldn’t be stable even on a blow-up doll. Seriously, even cats are looking at that picture and going, there is no way, man. It’s really gross, and I’m sad about it now. And here DC went and made the original Green Lantern gay and everything to be all modern in their reboot and they do that to Catwoman. I suppose it will generate copy selling controversy, but at this point, it’s just petty.
Wordwizard
June 19, 2012 @ 1:16 am

You should pick me because I’m poor and virtuous, and if I like it, will aggressively promote it, thus simultaneously boosting your sales, and my Klout score together!
If I should win, follow me on Twitter @EEFWW (You can do that any way….) and tweet me–I will DM you my contact info.–Oh, wait–You already have my e-mail address.
Marian
June 19, 2012 @ 6:31 pm

Because I already have over 3000 books and I need to feed my collection obsession
Elizabeth Anne Ensley
June 20, 2012 @ 9:37 am

I’d like a copy of Libriomancer. You want a review? You’ve got it! Also, it would give me something new to read to The Feline Wonder. I think she’s getting a bit impatient with princesses and goblins.
Jon Hansen
June 20, 2012 @ 10:08 am

I’d like a copy, so after I read it, I’ll donate it to my local library.
Verity
June 20, 2012 @ 11:20 am

I also forgot to mention it would be a great birthday gift to win…my birthday is June 22!
Jacqie
June 20, 2012 @ 11:30 am

I’d love to read Libriomancer and give it a smashing review on Goodreads.

I was one of those girls just like the girl in Jo Walton’s “Among Others”. I lived in books and for books, was shy and felt like most humans were an alien species. Book were my home, so what a great idea that you can take what’s in books and put them in the so-called “real” world. Tell me that story!

Also a girl gamer who adored Jig.
Lani
June 20, 2012 @ 11:34 am

I want the book so I can read it first and rub my husband’s nose in the fact that I got to read yet another book before he did. But then, I read faster than he does, so it’s only fair that I read books first.
Liari
June 20, 2012 @ 12:19 pm

I want the Libriomancer because…deep breath here…I love all your work, need something new to read, devour the written word as if it were mana from heaven, am utterly intrigued by the snippets you leave lying around twitter, need something to distract me from the stress of buying a house and planning a wedding, will sing your praises to all and sundry if chosen, would be the first thing I’ve won ever, and because I’d really really really like it.
arkessian
June 20, 2012 @ 12:23 pm

I want it because there can never be too many books about librarians. I *almost* lived in the library as a child (the only one of five children with library tickets who actually enjoyed to read.) The librarians used to see me coming and bring out huge piles of stuff they’d put aside for me — including stuff they picked fromthe adult shelves long before I was allowed to venture into them in person. And I’d be back three days later having devoured everything and still wanting more. Did I mention the not having any friends bit? Well, only the friends that you find in libraries. And in books.

So. Librarians. My heroes.
James
June 20, 2012 @ 1:00 pm

Because you write good stories and I would enjoy having the book early 🙂
Deire
June 20, 2012 @ 1:00 pm

I want one to comfort me as I weep in despair at how much niftier Jennifer McBride’s entry is than anything I can produce. 😉 WEEEEEEEEEP! Like a griffin in a Dianne Wynne Jones novel!
Lokifan
June 20, 2012 @ 1:08 pm

I want Libriomancer because Rupert Giles, the orangutan Librarian and the librarian in *Fallen* are not enough cool librarian characters for me!
Nellie
June 20, 2012 @ 1:37 pm

I want it because I think Jim Hines is a sexy beast and his wife is a lucky woman. 🙂
(Plus your kidlet is pretty awesome too) 😀
Lunarflight
June 20, 2012 @ 3:03 pm

I want it because I am still to this day god-crushing on Tymalous Shadowstar and need to fill the void he left in my heart.
Rebecca
June 20, 2012 @ 4:04 pm

I want it because libromancy is the best kind of sorcery I can imagine. Also because I’m currently in the middle of the Princess series and loving them, so I’m excited to read another of your books!

Unrelatedly, I was reading a blog post about the sexualization of toys and the question was asked: what if all the Avengers posed like the female one? The ridiculous poses made me laugh and also made me think of the posts you did about characters on book covers, so I thought you might be interested: http://sojo.net/blogs/2012/06/19/why-it-matters-whether-toy-thin-and-sexy-or-not (you have to scroll down a little, and then there’s a picture of an actual Avengers poster and a cartoon version with alternate positions).
Laura W
June 20, 2012 @ 7:54 pm

I want it because I am about to move with 20+ bookshelves full of paperbacks and I would love to read and pack Libromancer as well!
Katie
June 20, 2012 @ 8:46 pm

Because I’m judging the book by its cover, and that handsome gent, though fully clothed, seems to be targeting a Female Gaze. He’s looking down, not out at me–this means I am in the position to look at him. He has a quality that I think of as to-be-looked-at-ness: a passive sexuality/sensuality that lets me feel like I have the power in our dynamic. This passive sexiness is especially pronounced because it’s working in spite of the character’s front-and-center unsheathing of a Mighty Sword. Perhaps the awkward angle of his hands and the fact that the figure himself seems to have, if not a fear of, at least a healthy respect for the object mitigates the Sword’s potentially phallic/threatening impact.

(Yes, that is the honest reason I want a copy of this book. Because of the hot guy on the cover.)
Mel
June 20, 2012 @ 10:14 pm

I would appreciate a book since I’m not sure the library will order it just yet, although i have asked them to.
Finny
June 20, 2012 @ 11:28 pm

Hey. I’m finnyb on LJ. I’ve no idea if this is still going on, but I only just heard of it, so figured I’d enter.

I want one because books are my bread and butter–I’d quite honestly rather have books than food, and have frequently spent grocery moneies on books in the past.
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