Family Health and Ongoing Hiatus
I’m back home for the first time in a while, and I’ve been given permission to talk more about what’s going on. Last month, my wife Amy was diagnosed with cancer — an aggressive form of lymphoma, to be specific.
Aggressive, but treatable. We’ve done the first round of chemo, and the last scans showed some tumor shrinkage, which is a good sign.
This all started with a flare-up of lower back pain. Unfortunately, Amy has chronic back pain, and we’ve had flare-ups before. So the initial doctor visits just led to more painkillers and rest. It wasn’t until I took her to the Emergency Room last month that they discovered what was going on. By then we were dealing with a blast crisis (proliferation of immature white blood cells), dehydration, some organ failures…
I can safely say that was the worst week of my life.
I’m happy to say they were able to treat the immediate health crisis. The messed-up white blood cells have been cleared out, organ function is back to normal, dehydration and malnutrition have been addressed. We’re onto focusing on the long-term treatment plan now.
There’s no prognosis or percentages here. You can find survival rates for her particular type of cancer, but she’s significantly younger than the average patient. And five-year rates are based on patients who were diagnosed at least five years ago — we have five more years of research and advances now.
She’ll still be in the hospital for a while. She’s awfully weak after everything she’s been through. She’s not quite up for visitors yet, but she’s getting closer. I’ll be heading back tonight or tomorrow. I’ll still be mostly offline, and I haven’t written a word of fiction in more than a month, which is likely to continue.
To any of our friends or family who are hearing this for the first time, I’m so sorry. We’ve tried to update people, but Amy has so many people who love her, and my brain has not been at its best. Please feel free to text or email me.
My family has been holding up okay. Everyone has come together to offer support and help out, and I’m so grateful. The kids have been amazing, each in their own way. It’s hard, and that’s going to continue for a while, but we’re all doing our best to take care of each other as well as taking care of Amy.
She’s had really good care. We’re making sure that continues. So far, the insurance side of things has gone pretty smoothly. I’m not holding my breath for that to always be the case, but I’ll deal with that when and if it goes sideways. I’ve also taken care of things like her FMLA leave from work, and applying for short-term disability. The main priority right now is helping her keep getting better.
Oh, and I know the photos might be a bit odd — what can I say. Taking pictures is one of the ways I cope with the stress. Even with a relatively old iPhone camera.
I’m not up for answering a lot of questions online/publicly, since it’s not about me. And we’re not currently looking for advice. But your love and support and encouragement are always appreciated. Thank you.
Jaime Moyer
January 8, 2019 @ 7:24 am
All the hugs, Jim, both for you and Amy. This is hard, but the two of you are strong and will get through it.
Gregory A Lynn
January 8, 2019 @ 9:13 am
I recently lost my wife to complications from lung cancer. I know it’s hard and it’s terrifying and I know how the hard and terrifying becomes just another part of life. Please know that we’re all with you on this. Anyone who expects anything of you other than being with your wife and family isn’t worth having in your life.
Charlaine Harris
January 8, 2019 @ 9:29 am
Jim, I will be praying for you and your wife, because that’s what I do.
SherryH
January 8, 2019 @ 10:02 am
So sorry to hear this. I can relate to receiving an unexpected and serious medical diagnosis, and it’s rough.
Best wishes to you, Amy and the kids. You’ll be in my thoughts.
Debra Euler
January 8, 2019 @ 10:16 am
Oh Jim, I’m so sorry to hear about this. But you’re a strong and loving family and Amy will be OK. All the best to you and yours from me and mine. <3
Dana Lynne
January 8, 2019 @ 10:18 am
Thanks so much for the update. I’m just one of those readers you see in your computer but I know that myself and many other of your readers are concerned and sending good thoughts.
I’m so grateful the news is good and that your family is solid.
Jessica Strider
January 8, 2019 @ 10:32 am
Very sorry to hear this. Wishing Amy a speedy recovery and that your insurance keeps paying the bills.
Amy Bauer
January 8, 2019 @ 11:07 am
I’m so sorry, Jim. Sending good thoughts to you and your family. I will be thinking of you.
Tina Gower
January 8, 2019 @ 12:07 pm
So scary. Sending you all the good thoughts on a good recovery and prognosis.
Fraser
January 8, 2019 @ 1:46 pm
Best wishes and positive thoughts to both of you (and everyone else in your orbit).
Suzanne Warr
January 8, 2019 @ 2:25 pm
So much love to you and your family as you go through this!
Kari
January 8, 2019 @ 5:20 pm
Sending you both love and strength and all the imaginary internet hugs possible.
Matthew Thyer
January 8, 2019 @ 5:43 pm
Jim and Amy,
Hang tough you two. Sending out the best vibes I can manage.
Jessica
January 8, 2019 @ 6:18 pm
Here. This right here is the kind of situation thoughts and prayers are supposed to be applied to, so I’m offering mine.
Dave Creek
January 8, 2019 @ 8:21 pm
As others have said, I’ve been through this. It’s a challenge, but one that, with help, you can overcome. All the best to you.
Marian Parsons
January 8, 2019 @ 11:35 pm
Best thoughts to Amy, to you and your family, and hopes for a speedy and thorough healing and recovery.
Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little
January 9, 2019 @ 12:07 am
Best wishes to you both. Best case of a nightmare scenario, but still, nightmare scenario. Strength and love and hope and good energy and everything.
Penelope Skrzynski
January 9, 2019 @ 12:53 am
(((Great big squishy bear hugs)))
Heather
January 9, 2019 @ 7:25 am
So much love and light to you and Amy. Fervent wishes for a full and speedy recovery. I’m so sorry to hear you are all going through this.
Kat Goodwin
January 9, 2019 @ 10:44 am
Wishing hope and health for her and your family.
May
January 9, 2019 @ 12:27 pm
My son’s diagnosis was dire. The ER doctor said he had the highest white blood cell count they’d seen. He had to go through apheresis twice. He was on meds that made him too sick to get out of bed. It took a long while to reach remission.
That was sixteen years ago and he’s still here and doing well.
I know you don’t want advice, but find forums and people who are going through and have gone through the same thing you’re enduring now. They’ll have encouraging stories, tips, and useful insights. It will help ground you and get you through each day, until you can breathe again and even write again.
And for God’s sake, don’t read statistics on the internet. Especially at the American Cancer Society site. There’s a huge amount of outdated information and it will only frighten you.
Amy will get through this and you will, too.
Our family is sending you all the best, positive, healing vibes.
Poul
January 9, 2019 @ 4:48 pm
Best wishes to you, your wife and the kids.
RSG
January 9, 2019 @ 5:14 pm
Long time lurker here. Extremely sorry to hear this. Hoping your wife makes a full recovery soon, and try to take care of yourself too. I know how being a caretaker can exhaust you, but she needs you to be ok too.
Jaclynn A
January 9, 2019 @ 6:29 pm
Best wishes to her, you and the rest of your family, Mr. Hines.
SunflowerP
January 10, 2019 @ 3:02 am
Wow, that’s rough. Sending good thoughts to you all.
Mary Caelsto
January 10, 2019 @ 6:04 pm
So sorry to hear this. Keeping you in my thoughts and sending all the healing energy I can. Take care!
Vera Nazarian
January 11, 2019 @ 1:30 pm
Love and strength to Amy, you, and the kids. Never ever give up, there is hope, always! And medical science is getting better and better every day. You are LOVED.
Michael G.
January 11, 2019 @ 10:08 pm
My thoughts are with you and Amy and I hope treatment goes well.
Jo
January 12, 2019 @ 9:47 pm
Blessings.
chacha1
January 14, 2019 @ 5:28 pm
Love and best hopes.
Kristine
January 21, 2019 @ 3:05 pm
Jim–this is the first I’ve heard of this. So sorry this is happening, but glad to hear about the treatment options and good prognosis. Best wishes to you and Amy and your kids.
Shadowling
January 21, 2019 @ 3:16 pm
I was at one time matched with a donor for a bone marrow transplant, I was lucky and skipped that eventuality, the drugs worked well and I’ve been healthy for twenty years now. I hope her journey is easish like mine was and that the results are just as good. Drugs were better then, and are even better now, so that’s worth something. Its hard for her, for you and for your family I hope you find good things and strength to get you all through. Good thoughts and love.