Nude Celebrity Photo Hacking
I wonder how many disappointed people are going to end up on this blog post after a Google search flags that title…
Anyway, Chuck Wendig has a blog post that says a lot of what I’ve wanted to say on this topic: A PSA About Nude Photos.
A few highlights:
“If you don’t want nude pics leaked, don’t take nude pics with your phone —” *Tasers you* *steals your shoes* SHOULDN’T WEAR SHOES BRO
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 1, 2014
It is not rape, but it is deeply demonstrative of rape culture because it is an act that exploits a woman and her body without her consent. And then, as if to vigorously rub salt into the wound with the heel of one’s callused hand, the judgey-faced shitty-assed judgments of countless men follow in the wake of the violation: victim-blaming, slut-shaming, Puritanical finger-waggling.
“But wait!” the commenters say. “I’m not blaming the victims, but the reality is that there are bad people out there, and you have to be prepared!”
Here, have a quote from Diana Rowland:
Here’s the problem. Let’s say I’m a celebrity. I have a photo that I took of my boobs. It’s on a password protected phone/computer/drive what have you. But according to your line of thinking, BECAUSE I’m a celebrity I should be prepared for someone to steal that pic and post it (which is, of course why I have it behind encryption, etc.) Yet some clever soul manages to get through my encryption, steals the pic and posts it. But, hey, I should have expected that to happen because I’m a celebrity, right?
Let’s say I’m still a celebrity. I have boobs. I keep them covered up in public, and I even have personal security. But some clever soul manages to defeat my personal security guard, rips my shirt off, and gropes my boobs. But hey, I should have expected that to happen because I’m a celebrity, right? I should keep boobs under even MORE clothing and hire MORE security or, hell, just not go out because, after all, I’m a celebrity. I should have been better prepared.
It all boils down to this: I should be *prepared* to be assaulted, and when it happens it’s obviously because I didn’t *prepare* enough, no matter what steps I took, and I didn’t “recognize the reality.”
No. That’s wrong.
“But the internet isn’t secure! If you take nude photos on your phone, you have to know there’s a risk of them getting out!”
And if you order something online, you have to know there’s a risk of your credit card information getting stolen or your account getting hacked. If you carry a wallet, you have to know there’s a risk of someone stealing it. If you leave the house, you have to know there’s a risk of getting hit by a runaway ice cream truck. If you inhale, you have to know there’s a risk of swallowing a freaking spider.
This isn’t about people living in the delusional land of marshmallow-flavored unicorn farts and spontaneously rainbow-generating kittens where nothing bad ever happens. We spend a ridiculous amount of time and energy teaching women to protect themselves. “Don’t walk alone, don’t walk at night, don’t go on a date alone, don’t let your drink out of your sight, don’t take a drink from anyone you don’t know and trust, keep your hand over your drink , don’t drink at all, carry mace, carry pepper spray, carry a gun, don’t wear revealing clothing, don’t wear headphones, don’t carry too many packages, lock and deadbolt every door and window in the house, close every curtain and blind, and so on.”
And yet somehow if a crime is a) in some way sexual and b) committed against a woman, all a lot of people want to focus on is what she did wrong. As if they haven’t heard these messages all their lives, and if they’d only follow all the Right Steps, then they would finally be 100% safe and secure.
The idea that women would be safe if they’d only follow these steps? That’s your land of unicorns and rainbows and ignorant naivete right there. And the assumption that they’re not already taking precautions? That’s just arrogance and ignorance on your part.
And if you’re one of the people who immediately went searching for these photos? Did it ever even occur to you that you were getting off on the sexual violation of another human being? Or that every time you share those pics or increase the page counts for the websites hosting them, you’re rewarding the people who committed those violations?
Let’s keep the focus on the fact that stealing and distributing someone’s private photos is a crime. It’s not just the price someone pays for being a celebrity. Or for being female.
Martin
September 3, 2014 @ 9:23 am
This case has so many facets, it makes the head spin ;-).
1) Hacking someones else’s account and publishing it’s private data is a crime.
2) Redistributing those stolen data may be a criminal offense too. Morally it is at the same level as fencing stolen goods.
3) Doing this with nude images of a person is a sexual assault. The law may not be ready to handle this properly, but it is acting like a Peeping Tom.
4) People use technology without understanding core concepts. I am pretty sure several of the victims were not aware of those images being in the cloud.
5) Handling account security (e.g. passwords) should be a class in school. 90+% of all people lack even the most essential core competence. The distribution of nude pictures is not the worst that can happen to you here.
6) Apple focuses on ease of use. Security runs second. That is one reason they are so successful. So I don’t blame them for this (except the next point), but wish they would use their position to educate users better.
7) “Security questions” are a stupid idea. Never answer them truthfully. Bad Apple!
8) I don’t understand the need of people to take nude pictures of themselves or their SO. But that does not justify the stealing or redistribution of the data. There a lot of things people will not understand about me. That neither allows them to violate my privacy.
9) The handling of the incident by most of the press is another demonstration that they consider clicks to be more important than information. Instead on focusing on how to avoid this or what happened, we see detailed description which celebrity has been caught in which pose :-(.
Jeff L
September 3, 2014 @ 9:43 am
No matter how you slice it, its a crime.
IF (and it is still technically an if) the perpetrators were specifically looking for nude/sexual images (which appears to be the case given the number of and who the targets were) it’s sexual assault, hands down (although the letter of the law may not agree in some states).
You could (and I suspect if caught their attorney will) make the case that if they were seeking other materials like banking passwords and ‘stumbled’ on these, then the charges should be more similar to hacking a safe deposit box. Legally speaking (most certainly NOT ethically), that will be an interesting case.
With point #2 in mind, it needs to be reiterated what Martin posted above. This happens every day and its NOT normally immature asshats looking for celebrities. It’s people looking for bank statements and ids, and people really do need to be aware what they put online and how they secure it.
America
September 3, 2014 @ 10:01 am
Martin, we were good until point 5.
“Man, if they’d just taken the precaution of having a better password…”
The fact that you suggest a huge proportion of the population does not do this does not stop this from being another “precaution” statement.
PJ
September 3, 2014 @ 10:02 am
As always – thanks for being an awesome human being. Reading your blog is good for my soul.
MJ Brudenell
September 3, 2014 @ 10:04 am
Wait, Martin, you’re blaming Apple for the whole security question nonsense? Security questions are used by almost every website that has a security wall.
Online security is way beyond just Apple and Microsoft. It’s all our responsibility. We need to demand better security.
Jeff L
September 3, 2014 @ 10:11 am
Part of the problem is that USERS don’t want to take the necessary steps for better security out of either ignorance or laziness. One of my clients is a call center and one of their primary complaints is that people cannot use dictionary words as a password and their passwords are too hard to remember.
Dusty
September 3, 2014 @ 10:11 am
Personally, I dont think educating people to reduce risk is the same as victim blaming.
Laura Hughes
September 3, 2014 @ 10:14 am
I posted this on my tumblr last night, but I think it fits here, too:
Breaking into people’s houses, rummaging around in their underwear drawers, taking whatever you like, and then driving around town with it plastered to a banner on the roof of your car is despicable— and a crime punishable by jail time.
Hacking into people’s secure and private accounts, rummaging around in their personal files, taking whatever you like, and then posting it all over the internet is despicable— and a crime punishable by jail time.
It is NOT something to laugh at, or ogle, or demean the victim of the crime about what they had in their home, or what images or information they had in their personal files. The only one who should be shamed here is the person who stole and posted things he had no right to in the first place.
Jim C. Hines
September 3, 2014 @ 10:19 am
Well, there’s:
1) Educating people to reduce risk.
2) Educating only a specific subset of people to reduce their risk.
3) Educating people to reduce risk while allowing/encouraging perpetrators to continue committing crimes.
4) Educating people to reduce risk as a specific response to those people being victimized.
5) Educating people to reduce risk by repeating the same things they’ve been hearing all their lives.
6) Educating people to reduce risk based on your assumption that they don’t know how to protect themselves.
And so on…
Jeff L
September 3, 2014 @ 10:43 am
A secondary note. Although I wish this wasn’t the case, celebrities (much like the wealthy and politicians etc), do need to be more vigilant than most people by the nature of their profession.
The simple fact is that they are a bigger target. Many of them use bodyguards to deal with paparazzi, etc and to be bluntly honest, they or their advisers should be ensuring every possible cyber security step is taken as well. I’m NOT blaming the victim, but just like never leaving home with your front door only locked by the screen, at that level, ensuring photos you don’t want out are not in a known fairly insecure service does fall under the heading of reasonable precaution. Again, leaving your door open is NOT an invitation to having your house robbed, but that doesn’t make it a good idea.
It’s looking less like this was a brute force/backdoor attack (with the caveat that until recently Apple did have a gaping and known hole there with no autolock) and more of a phishing/spear phishing attack, and celebrities need to make sure what’s involved with those as well. The strongest password in the world doesn’t help when you get exposed to a keylogger or someone gives it to the hacker.
Ken Marable
September 3, 2014 @ 10:55 am
“Well, they shouldn’t have taken pictures of themselves in the first place!” isn’t educating on how to reduce risk, yet it is the most common response I have seen to this situation.
What’s more, as Jim points out, the vast VAST majority of the time you only get this sort of reply when it is a sexual crime against a woman. Someone’s house is broken into, you don’t hear people saying they should have had better security systems. Someone steals credit card numbers, you don’t hear people saying they shouldn’t be using Target credit cards. People don’t say you shouldn’t have had a bank in that part of town if you didn’t get robbed. You shouldn’t be driving at night if you don’t want to get hit by a drunk driver. etc. etc.
It’s easy to not notice it until it’s pointed out, but these sort of replies ONLY happen when it is a sexual crime against a woman, and that is definitely a problem.
Even more disgusting is that apparently many of the photos are of underage celebrities. Yet, the majority of comments on news stories specifically about these photos clearly being child pornography people still wanted to blame the underage girls. When people blame children for child pornography, there is something seriously wrong.
Heather
September 3, 2014 @ 11:01 am
I wish that ‘educating people to reduce a risk’ could be decoupled from ‘so-and-so didn’t reduce their risk sufficiently so it’s their fault something happened.’ Unfortunately I don’t see that happening anytime soon.
Bryn
September 3, 2014 @ 11:08 am
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, my mother expressed a desire to hit up a seedier part of town to look at the pawn shops there. She wasn’t looking for anything in particular, just curious as to what sort of goods they might carry and what the prices would be like. I enthusiastically agreed to go with her.
My Dad and brothers just about had a cow: “You two can’t go *there*! What about crime? What if you’re attacked?” blahblahetc. Mom and I looked at them, incredulously: “You mean, we shouldn’t go where we want to go, when we want to go there because there may be “bad people”? How about we lock up the bad people so the rest of us can go about our lives?” It was as if the idea had never occurred to them.
How about if people keep their mitts off of other peoples pictures/data/information and let them keep private that which they’d like to keep private?
The pawn shops were interesting and no, no “bad people” sprang from the ground to cause any problems for us.
Anne
September 3, 2014 @ 11:15 am
Sickened by the assbackward thinking which persists, and especially this week. So, thank you for this post.
D. D. Webb
September 3, 2014 @ 11:18 am
Thanks for this post; you clarified a number of the points that I’ve seen thrown around in a much more disconnected fashion. Now I have a place to link when I’m having this argument with somebody.
Tina Smith Gower
September 3, 2014 @ 12:07 pm
Great post!
I think the point here is that someone had something stolen from them. Why does it matter what (aside from dumb answers like she could have had an illegal gun, etc)? It was hers, for her use, and someone decided to break in a take it.
How come when things involve technology and women, suddenly it’s a teachable moment?
My spouse is an internet security specialist. We’ve had things stolen from us (or attempts to), we’ve been hacked by attack of the spambots. If these people want something, no password or firewall in the world will be secure enough for some of the savvy ones. Computer hobbyists might believe that they can protect themselves (and yeah, it will make them less of an accidental target, if it’s someone randomly turning knobs to see if someone forgot to lock their door), but if someone becomes a specific target–then even the highest security is vulnerable.
And also thanks again, Jim, for your perspective. I think sometimes I’ve easily fallen into the victim blaming path. It seems the culture surrounding these crimes gives the criminals and easy excuse. The more that it’s pointed out that it was, at it’s base, a crime–the more simple it becomes.
Rob Meyer
September 3, 2014 @ 12:40 pm
I have to say Martin had expressed my feelings pretty well. The people victimized are not to blame, but what Martin is saying might help. If you are a person with information at risk and accept that there is a risk, it would be a good idea too to have a plan in case the information gets out. Some of the questions
Do you warn your friends as soon as you hear the information has been lost?
This would be a good idea if someone else would be affected by the release of the information.
Do you or anyone you know have someone you can contact who might be able to get the information back?
If I had an agent, I would hope the agent would get friends in the 4chan and Anonymous areas and could call in a favor. If I were an agent, I would be putting a good bit of effort into trying to make some connections within the community (not terribly likely, nor do I think 4chan or Anonymous would deal with a Hollywood agent). Everyone has friends, and those friends have friends, somewhere communication might be possible.
What can you do to make the information less valuable?
If the information is time sensitive, see if releasing it yourself is a possibility. Say, for instance, a wedding announcement between two celebrities. Undercut the value to those who steal.
Things like this are not to indicate blame, but a suggestion to be ready to minimize the pain of having someone steal from you. This is not even an answer, just the format for developing an response. For many people this is a new and unfathomable area, the scope of the effect might seem overwhelming. Preparation and planning might help make it seem less overwhelming.
Becca Stareyes
September 3, 2014 @ 1:04 pm
A lot depends on making it an individual response to a systemic problem. I can reduce the risk, but even doing everything right doesn’t make me hack-proof, and there are some things I (or other people) just can’t do for various reasons.
Things I’d like to see in an education article:
1. The acknowledgment that this is a reduction of risk, not an elimination. I can do everything right, and a sufficiently determined hacker could decide it’s easier to just hack Target’s server to get my credit card number.
1a. What to do (or at least a link to a companion article) if I do get unlucky, despite precautions.
1b. The absence of the suggestion that people who do get hacked must have done something risky.
2. The idea that I might have to balance other things with risk. For instance, I could pick a really secure password… but then have to reset my password every month because I can’t remember my password. So some discussion of the reasons people don’t do the ‘smart’ thing.
3. Some recognition that security is not just dependent on you; that Google or Apple can and should provide some protection (or guidance in explaining what their settings are.)
Stacie
September 3, 2014 @ 1:12 pm
If security means a complex password that, ideally, changes at least every six months, and the average person has a hundred or more accounts on various websites–a handful of which are important, such as banking or university accounts–I question whether that’s laziness or ignorance.
I actually try, really try to stay on top of my passwords. I have stopped reusing the same on on everything, for starters. I have a program that generates complex, random, non-dictionary passwords.
But there is no way I can remember ANY of these randomly generated passwords. They are less hackable, sure, but the trade off is that I have to check my passbook every single time. There are a few that I know I will need to type that I’ve done letter/number substitution passwords, and that’s a compromise between security and ease of use, but it’s a conscious one.
I honestly don’t know how to get past the memory problem. I think it’s a human limit.
Tina Smith Gower
September 3, 2014 @ 1:26 pm
I really like this point. I think I’d have no problem if an article was presented this way. Education takes place when there is an absence of “you did something wrong, or you are part of a group that will be a target, so if you get hacked it will be your fault if you don’t follow these rules.” It’s all in the language of the person doing the educating. Otherwise “education” is being used as a veiled attempt at blaming the victim. It’s a fine line, probably a hard one to walk, in an online forum where people could mis-read tone.
But anyway, Becca, I really like your point.
Rob Meyer
September 3, 2014 @ 2:01 pm
This is where I disagree. Offering suggestions that might help is not blaming. There is an assumption there and I believe that to be incorrect, at least part of the time. Nothing I have said has tried to lay blame at the victim’s door. Rather, advice on trying to minimize the damage or prevent similar things from occurring in the future.
As an example, my cousin’s daughter had her iPhone stolen. I saw the post by my cousin. I saw a bunch of posts by her friends offering sympathy. I posted asking my cousin if she had placed a gps locator software on the phone (as a single mom with a teenage daughter, I thought it likely). The next post from her was the police were tracking the man and expecting to get the phone back.
Did anything I do there blame my cousin or her daughter? No. All I did was to remind her of something she had done which allowed her to take positive action. Would it have been wrong for me to suggest my cousin get that same software for the next phone she buys? I don’t think so. But the comments like this make it feel like that advice would be blaming my cousin for having a iPhone, rather than using an app to insure getting it back.
paigevest
September 3, 2014 @ 3:01 pm
Precisely… and well said.
Glen
September 3, 2014 @ 3:46 pm
Quote from an LA Times article on the use of drones by paparazzi: “‘I totally understand if you are the person being photographed that that could maybe be unsettling,’ Ford said. ‘The only thing I would say to that is: If you don’t want to be photographed doing something, just be inside your house.'”
Same attitude, different subject. Sigh.
Martin
September 3, 2014 @ 4:23 pm
I’m working 20 years in this area. People are usually neither taught nor do they pick up the skills by themselves to secure their digital lives. Such facts make it easier for criminals to commit such acts.
There are worse things that can happen due to that than nude pictures leaking. We need to fix the problem: partially with technology, partially with education. None alone will provide a solution.
This incident has created a lot of media echo. This should be used to advertise learning those “skills”.
Badly secured accounts do not shift the blame. But people need to learn that such things are important.
As i mentioned, this is only one of several facets of the incident.
Martin
September 3, 2014 @ 4:43 pm
Security questions are exactly the opposite of what there name imply. They are decreasing security. Apple is not alone in this, but Apple enforces the use. You cannot create an account without security questions. That is bad.
Martin
September 3, 2014 @ 4:46 pm
P.S. Wrong passwords are often encouraged by bad password policies. It is not only the users that need education. See http://blog.literarily-starved.com/2014/05/good-bad-ugly-your-password.html if you like to read my 4 month old rant on that subject ;-).
Dusty Wallace
September 3, 2014 @ 4:49 pm
I’ve been debating whether to respond here. But I’m going to for better or for worse. First let me say that my main point is, don’t jump to the conclusion that someone is a victim-blamer just because they propose some sort of preventative steps. Victim-blamer has became the go-to reaction for everything but there’s shades of gray to consider. Being precautions and not blaming the victim aren’t mutually exclusive. Don’t draw boundaries where they’re not needed. Welcome others opinions if their goal is the same as yours.
Now on to Jim’s points.
1) Educating people to reduce risk.
Okay
2) Educating only a specific subset of people to reduce their risk.
If that subset is disproportionately at risk then that’s where the education should be focused, no? We want motorcycle drivers to wear helmets, but aren’t particularly concerned about golf-cart drivers wearing helmets.
3) Educating people to reduce risk while allowing/encouraging perpetrators to continue committing crimes.
Clearly this is terrible.
4) Educating people to reduce risk as a specific response to those people being victimized.
I’m not sure what you mean by this. The specific event we’re talking about should certainly be used as an educational opportunity for those not yet victimized. Especially while the issue is currently hot in the media. But I think you might mean something different than I’m reading. Like, say, ‘educating’ someone who’s already been victimized, which is lame.
5) Educating people to reduce risk by repeating the same things they’ve been hearing all their lives.
This one is hogwash. If it bears repeating then I don’t particularly care if someone’s heard it all their lives. It may get annoying, but annoyance is an acceptable by-product if it saves someone from being victimized.
6) Educating people to reduce risk based on your assumption that they don’t know how to protect themselves.
This one is issue-specific. If some cases your just making an ASS out of U and ME, but in the case of cloud server security, it appears that it’s a safe assumption that people don’t know much about it. And educating the general public is typically a good thing. Again, if it’s annoying to the people who already know about cloud servers, so be it.
Now a few other points I’ve noticed int he media and on social sites.
1.There was more than one woman hacked. Lots of media headlines lead with Jennifer Lawrence as if her privacy is more important than the other celebrities and athletes involved.
2. There were also men. Very few places are talking about their invasion of privacy. I’d imagine they’re just as embarassed to have photos leaked as the women. Though I do understand there’s a double standard involved in the way men are judged for sexual decisions.
3. What about private citizens? The FBI is involved in this case. What if it was one of our wives or daughters being paraded around the internet? The common folk, as it were. Would the Feds give a darn?
4. Why have judges ruled against people asking for private sex tapes to be pulled off websites while these photos are being pulled down by all major sites? A judge recently ruled against Hulk Hogan’s sex tape being removed even though he didn’t know he was being filmed and never consented to it’s release. But the courts said it was “public interest” whatever that means. Whether you like the Hulkster or not, shouldn’t he have the same rights as Jennifer Lawrence?
5. One of the girls was underage, is it child pornography? No. Is it illegal? Yes. Okay, wait, don’t crucify me yet. My point is that the age of consent is not the age of adulthood in a physical sense. Pedophiles are interested in prepubescent children and photos of prepubescent children. A person being attracted to a naked seventeen year old girl is vastly less disturbing than when it’s a 7 year old girl. Doesn’t mean I endorse underage pornography, I understand the reasons while it’s a crime. I just want to point out the objective differences in moral decrepitude.
6. Why do commenters have to leave such long ramblings on someone else’s blog? I hate it when people do that. Why can’t they just get their own blog?
Martin
September 3, 2014 @ 5:08 pm
@Stacie
Writing down the passwords and placing them on paper in the wallet or in a password safe is not the worst security practice. Problem with paper is usually the backup ;-).
Password changes every six months is a leftover from the time we used the same password everywhere. It does not make sense when user use unique passwords. Forcing a change upon them leads them towards bad passwords (my experience).
A lot of password requirements are insane. The make the user choose bad passwords so they can remember them. I regularly have to check my blood pressure after running into the next web site that allows bad passwords like “Test1234” but refuses to accept “tienes time baguette bruder” (which is a tough nut password for any cracker, but “too long” for a lot of web sites).
If you are interested in a more detailed version of my rant, see: http://blog.literarily-starved.com/2014/05/good-bad-ugly-your-password.html
mjkl
September 3, 2014 @ 5:42 pm
Tina – “How come when things involve technology and women, suddenly it’s a teachable moment?”
It’s not just when it involves women. I saw a ton of articles after the Target breach, using it as a teachable moment. As Martin wrote, too many people don’t know enough about computer security (not just for nude photos, but for credit cards, medical log-ins, etc.) and too many sites have ridiculous security requirements.
Dusty Wallace
September 3, 2014 @ 5:59 pm
There were men involved in the leak also.
anglerfish07
September 3, 2014 @ 6:01 pm
Yeah, education is good. But education should be for everyone, because anyone can be at risk of id theft, hacking of personal information or sexual assault. The “Don’t be that guy” campaign works extremely well because it targeted men and encouraged them to take action and not just blame women while doing nothing helpful. And I’m sick of education only being given when a woman is sexually assaulted followed by people saying unacceptable things like, “She’s so stupid/sexually loose, it’s all her fault. You can’t blame the male perpetrator, he can’t help it”. I hear ridiculous things like this all the time. Glen, if you give advice without blaming the perpetrator, that seems victim blaming. And I am sick and tired of the patronising, obvious “advice” I get. Hearing it all the time doesn’t help.What Jim is saying is useful and not hogwash. I think you know that your post is hurtful and insulting. Disagreeing with you civilly as Jim has done is not crucifying you.
Sally
September 3, 2014 @ 6:04 pm
Oh, Jim, I want to send you and Chuck and your tasers on a world tour.
Dusty Wallace
September 3, 2014 @ 7:21 pm
I didn’t say anyone WAS crucifying me. I also didn’t say that everything that Jim said was hogwash. I only meant that one single point about repetition is hogwash. Some things bear repeating. And I agree, not blaming the perpetrator is baloney. I’d blame someone for robbing me. I also lock my doors. Those two things can co-exist.
BlueCube
September 3, 2014 @ 8:33 pm
Your mother’s argument, as you described it, doesn’t really make a great deal of sense. Of course we lock up the the bad people so the rest of us can go about our lives. Yet we are still are faced with an array of bad people. Though surely there would be more bad people if we didn’t lock them up.
I really don’t know if your trip was advisable or not:
Your father and brothers probably had an unreasonably pessimistic estimate of the risk.
You and your mother may have been extra vigilant while in the neighborhood.
Even if your risk was 30 times worse than in a good neighborhood, the odds of you being victimized on one visit weren’t really all that high, unless the good neighborhoods in your town are really dangerous.
In the end, you have to estimate risk and make a choice. Arguing that you had a better sense of the risk than your father and brothers makes perfect sense. Arguing that you don’t have to worry because of the existence of police doesn’t make sense.
Cat Sittingstill
September 3, 2014 @ 8:37 pm
Hmm. I look at this issue and I see someone who left their nude pics where they could be stolen. And I say, “That was an accident.”
I see someone who stole someone else’s nude pictures. I see people who passed nude pictures around to snicker over. And I say “That wasn’t an accident; *that* was on purpose.”
The people who stole and distributed someone else’s nude pictures on purpose are the villains here. And they should be getting all the blame. All Teh Blaimz!!!
Why is this not happening?
KatG
September 3, 2014 @ 11:25 pm
Interesting that Wendig went with shoes. There was a time when special edition athletic shoes from Nike and such were worth a lot on the streets and in stores. And there were some incidents of kids getting robbed and even once or twice killed for their shoes, in the same way that it might happen today for their smartphones, etc. The fashion appeal of the shoes was tied into rap and hip-hop music of the time, and as it happened some of the kids who got robbed were black. So the narrative in the media and in general became that these black kids in not pristine neighborhoods, they shouldn’t be wearing expensive sneakers. They didn’t have a right to them because they were at higher risk for being stolen. The narrative was that it was the black kids’ fault for saving up and buying these shoes that they loved, while it was perfectly fine for the white kids in suburbia to of course buy such shoes. Because they were more likely to be the targets of crime, supposedly, it was their fault for trying to live like other human beings around them. They did indeed blame the person who was wearing shoes for having them stolen — if they were black, and thus really had no right to the shoes.
These narratives comfort us because they give us the illusion that we ourselves can be safe because we aren’t A) the targeted group, B) have a right to do what we want as the non-targeted group, and C) can prepare ourselves — if we just do passwords right say — which is our job because we don’t have the right to demand a safer society in which we are more equally treated and not expected to arm ourselves more if we’re in the disadvantaged group. (Never mind that demands for a safer society have actually created a safer society. The illusion of safety to be achieved for a privileged few is more appealing apparently than having real safety for all.)
Most of the women who had photos exposed are actresses and a lot of actresses tend to show up nude or nearly nude in one acting role or another, in PR photo shoots, in paparazzi taking photos of them sun-bathing from miles away. There are usually plenty of public shots available of most of them of this sort. So these photos weren’t stolen or passed around to give people a sexual thrill. They were passed around to humiliate, debase and threaten these actresses, because they are famous and successful women. To say to them, “You think you’re untouchable but we can do anything we want with you and you are nothing.”
It doesn’t matter what they did for security — and these women know way more about security than the average IT, because security for them is not just cyberspace but bombs in cars, and entourages of bodyguards and rape threats and police wire taps on a regular basis. These people came after these women because they know they can and because they know that the society will tolerate it and help debase and threaten the women for them further.
There are ways to improve the safety of a society — things like gun control, incentives for snitching, better cyber tracing, and general societal disapproval that this behavior is not simply a social ill but a serious crime. But those are big, long term solutions, involving legislation, regulation, money, technology, rallies and mass effort. It requires above all a social view of women, including famous actresses, that we don’t have. It is much, much easier to go after readily identified individual victims and start talking about how we all just have to barricade our doors a little bit stronger and we’ll be the ones who are safe.
When you start talking about preventive tips in the wake of one of these crimes, you are blaming the victims and perpetuating prejudices towards those victims. You are saying that the victims should further curtail their lives, especially if they are in a targeted group, rather than dealing with the problem of them being targeted. You are making the victims of such crimes feel that it is their fault they were hurt, that all of us are to blame if we don’t do well enough at whatever barricade you think is going to save everybody.
So instead of talking about the culture of making the bodies of actresses (but not actors,) public property, regrettably but unstoppably threatened for the crime of entertaining us, and how we change that culture and the view of women, you are turning the conversation to password security. Which dozens and dozens of cyber experts regularly go out into the media to explain will not keep you safe or even safer from cyber theft.
Even if there was a way to protect these actresses from ever having their private photos taken or their heads superimposed on other women’s nude bodies, or their physical bodies threatened when they step outside a door or a car, there’s the simple fact that we are in a society filled with people who feel it is normal that these threats are part of their jobs as actresses or female singers. That’s not them; it’s us. And we are the ones who should feel guilty for what happened to them, not them. We are the ones who should be collectively working to keep them and others from being victimized, not clucking about prevention methods they should have — and probably did have, but were still circumvented.
Those women did nothing wrong, nothing. My daughter does nothing wrong by existing on the Net, like any man might. There are no prevention tips needed when one of these incidents occur. Instead of trying to “lessen” the damage these people cause — by stating things said thousands of times before — let’s go after them and build a society in which what they are doing has few market takers because it’s considered deeply wrong rather than a minor social ill. And that starts with not focusing on what victims supposedly should have done, especially when those victims are in a disadvantaged group.
Tina Smith Gower
September 4, 2014 @ 1:03 am
*standing ovation*
Megpie71
September 4, 2014 @ 2:14 am
Strongly agreed. I’m currently looking for work. Now, one of the fun things about looking for work in the current environment is just about every damn company you apply with has their own website, and their own HR database, and their own speshul-snowflake interface they want you to enter your entire work history into, and each and every single one of these wants you to create a user account with them. Including (tah-da-da-daaah) its own user name and password.
I’m in my early forties. I do not have the mental capacity and space to remember: firstly, which sites I’ve created accounts at; secondly, what my user name was at each of those sites; and thirdly, what the highly secure unique password I used on each of those sites was. Particularly when nine times out of ten, these accounts are one-offs, used approximately once ever, but occasionally used more than once.
My solution to the problem is a spreadsheet on my computer keeping track of which ones I’ve created accounts with, along with the username I’ve been given, and codewords to represent which of a small number of passwords known to me I’ve chosen to use with which site. I do this because quite honestly, I need the prosthetic memory the spreadsheet provides. I would ordinarily use a notebook or similar, but I’ve had to move house at least twice in the past eighteen months, and that means a paper backup is susceptible to loss, or just to being packed in that one box which never gets unpacked until three moves down the track. So a spreadsheet it is, because at least the computer travels with me and doesn’t go out of my sight.
(Before anyone starts: I know this is poor security. However, given the options available to me, poor security is better than none. It’s like the difference between having a door which locks between you and the neighbourhood, and having no door at all.)
Megpie71
September 4, 2014 @ 2:45 am
An analogy: here in Australia, most home rental contracts include a requirement for quarterly inspections by the property owner or their representatives (usually a real estate agent). In the last five or so years, one of the regular features of rent inspections has been the real estate agent taking digital photos of the inside of the house “so the owners can see the place is being looked after”. A not-so-incidental feature of such photos is they tend to display the belongings of the tenants. Like I said, this happens approximately every three months, so there’s a pretty good likelihood of the most recent photos of a rental property displaying a reasonably up-to-date inventory of the tenants’ belongings.
Where are those photos stored? Well, one would hope the photos were stored on a secured server, under encryption, and password protected at a minimum, preferably with no linkage between the file and directory names and the individual locations of the rental properties concerned. However, the majority of real estate offices here in Australia are small businesses, operated under franchise, and their IT budget doesn’t really run to huge amounts of security, or training in IT security for their staff. Instead, we’re looking mainly at the office security systems which were more concerned with securing the spare keys for the various properties, and maybe a petty cash box – and sometimes those fall through, and a real estate office will be burgled.
So, okay, this has happened – and one of the things the thieves got away with was the hard drive which has the photos of the various rental properties this particular office administered. Glancing through those photos, they get a good idea of which properties are worth breaking into, which ones have the good stuff, where in the house the good stuff is kept and so on. Given they’re rental properties, it’s likely a truck or covered trailer in the driveway won’t raise eyebrows… and hey, they have all these sets of keys handy, too. Bets on whether all the landlords have got the locks changed yet?
If I’m one of the people whose house gets burgled in the aftermath of such a chain of events, and I’m in a rental property administered by the real estate office which had been broken into, whose damn fault is it my stuff has gone walkabout?
(Free Clue: the answer is “the thieves”.
Even though having digital photos taken is a condition of the lease these days. Even though I go to a great deal of trouble to point out to real estate agents that they’re welcome to photograph the landlord’s house, but I will get very cranky if they photograph my home. Even though the real estate agents didn’t practice proper data security. Even though their office security turned out to be flaky the one day out of however many the thieves tried their luck. Even though the landlord didn’t get around to changing the locks on the property soon enough – or even though they couldn’t get the locks changed quickly enough because I wasn’t able to stay home and deal with the locksmith. Even though I may not have contents insurance to cover the replacement costs.)
D. D. Webb
September 4, 2014 @ 12:13 pm
Spot. On.
Thank you for writing this.
Avilyn
September 4, 2014 @ 12:19 pm
I had this discussion on a different site the other day. You say:
> First let me say that my main point is, don’t jump to the conclusion that someone is a
> victim-blamer just because they propose some sort of preventative steps.
Focusing the conversation on what the woman could have done to avoid/prevent the rape reinforces rape culture and shifts the conversation to what the victim did wrong; it feeds the idea that there’s nothing we can do to get men to stop raping, so it’s up to the woman to always be on guard and protect herself, and if she fails to do that in any way, then she’s at fault for the rape.
Precautions that can be taken to avoid rape? How about teaching men that only a clear “Yes” is “Yes”; that if a woman is drunk or unconscious it is not OK to have sex with her; that a woman’s body belongs only to her and she sets the boundaries for it and you aren’t ‘owed’ any sexual favors if you take her out to dinner or whatever; that a woman dressing to show off her body in a flattering light has a right to do that without being leered at or groped; that even if it’s your girlfriend or wife and you’ve had sex before, if she says NO, then you have no right to violate her body because it’s rape if you do? What about those precautions? Or do they not count because they focus on the perpetrators of rape?
Here’s a hint – you don’t need to tell a woman what precautions to take, because we’ve had them drilled into our heads from day one. Stuff like: Don’t go out alone at night; don’t go out alone during the day; don’t walk too fast you’ll attract attention; don’t walk too slow, they’ll think you’re easy prey; don’t leave your hair down, it’s easier for them to grab on to; don’t put your hair in a ponytail, if they get ahold of it it makes it easier for them to control your head; don’t fight back, that will make them mad; fight back, or it’s your fault you didn’t try hard enough not to be raped; don’t drink if you’re at a party with people you don’t know; don’t drink around people you know because most rapists aren’t strangers, they’re people you know; don’t drink alone because if someone breaks in and you’re too drunk to fight back or call for help, well it’s your fault …
I could go on and on about the contradictory ways that women can “prevent” rape but it’s all BS because until we stop pretending like there’s any way women can control their (the rapist’s) behavior; or like all rapists are evil strangers lurking in dark alleys or behind bushes waiting for a random woman to walk by to attack rather than realizing that rapists are in fact usually people we know; people who might be horrified to hear themselves called rapists but aren’t educated as to what real consent means, what rape means, and what behaviors are unacceptable; until we stop pretending there isn’t a rape culture and we can’t do anything about it, rape will continue.
IrishUp
September 4, 2014 @ 12:40 pm
I want to “Like” this about 1 jillion times.
Dusty Wallace
September 4, 2014 @ 1:29 pm
“Focusing the conversation on what the woman could have done to avoid/prevent the rape reinforces rape culture and shifts the conversation to what the victim did wrong…”
This is exactly the kind of line-drawing I’m talking about. There’s no reason people can’t promote education and prevention while not blaming the victim. It’s not about what a woman/man could have done, it’s about what other women/men can do in the future.
In my first year of college there were seven reported on-campus rapes in the first two weeks of school. It was more than the previous decade combined. Obviously the police went after the culprits. But they also sent out warnings to students. The female students had became a high-risk population. Higher than the average college student. Not talking about risk reduction would have been irresponsible. Likely it would have led to more victims.
In the case at hand it’s celebrities, of any gender, who are particularly at risk. That’s why they need to be educated on the hazards of online storage backup.
Victim-blaming is bad. But don’t abandon common sense as a reaction to it.
Avilyn
September 4, 2014 @ 2:20 pm
Did you read beyond the first sentence of my comment? I said if you want to talk “prevention”, talk to *men* about what true consent is, about what rape is, etc. Women have had “precautions we should take” drilled into our heads from pretty much the beginning of our lives (and, as I pointed out, a lot of times the advice on what we should do is contradictory). I knew them all before I was a teenager. And yet, knowing all the precautions *I* should take, didn’t stop the guy I’d dated for several years, (and yes, had willing sex with on prior occasions) from deciding that my “No” didn’t really mean “No” and he was entitled to my body whether I wanted it or not that one night. And I’m sure he’d be shocked, shocked to hear that he was a rapist, because he was a good guy, you know, and he totally respected women’s rights and stuff.
Dusty Wallace
September 4, 2014 @ 2:34 pm
I agree with everything you’re saying. Educating men about consent is important and often overlooked. My only point is that it can work in tandem with other things. It doesn’t have to be an either/or choice. I’m not suggesting that risk reduction is a cure-all or that women shouldn’t live freely. And, rape is not the only topic I’m addressing because victim-blaming happens in plenty of other cases.
If people are getting conflicting information, that’s unfortunate and tells me that the research and education need to be improved, but not necessarily discarded. Whether it’s drilled into your head or not isn’t an important consequence as long as it helps victims.
I’m extremely overweight. People have always drilled into my head about eating right and exercising as if I’m too dumb to know about such things. So I see your point. But then again, maybe someone else they’ve drilled these things into have gone on to lose weight and live healthier.
Jim C. Hines
September 4, 2014 @ 2:46 pm
Dusty,
Let me put it this way. Whenever we get into a discussion like this about women who have been raped or otherwise sexually abused/harassed, there’s almost always an influx of guys offering “helpful” advice and suggestions that the women in question already know, have known for years, and have heard so many times they can recite them in their sleep.
And yet the guys — and yes, it’s almost always guys — continue to repeat the same suggestions. They continue to stress that “risk reduction” is important, as if this is something women have never heard before, or aren’t capable of figuring out without men to tell them what to do. As if, despite the fact that women are at a much higher risk of being raped, men have to be the ones to tell them how to protect themselves.
To top it off, many of those suggestions are frequently based on misinformation and outright falsehoods about how rape works.
Ilana Waters
September 4, 2014 @ 3:59 pm
First we try to protect women with magical cosmetics, and now we’re blaming them for being violated. Next we’ll say they’re at fault for rape because they have female parts. *sigh* I don’t know what the world is coming to, but thank you for this insightful post.
Dusty Wallace
September 4, 2014 @ 4:33 pm
I’m with you, Jim. I really am. I consider myself a feminist and victim-blaming is a terrible thing. So often these crimes are targeted at very young women and I don’t think it’s victim-blaming to advise them against certain things. Just as young men should be taught about consent, young women should be encouraged not to pass out drunk at frat parties. Not because they shouldn’t be allowed to have fun but because there are always going to be bad people out there and those people are especially dangerous when their judgment is impaired. Ignoring lessons learned from other’s mistakes is tantamount to irresponsibility. And whether they’ve heard it their whole lives or not, it continues to happen. And those lives haven’t been all that long in the first place so repeating it’s not a bad idea.
I think better sex-ed programs at schools for both genders would go a long way. And parents shouldn’t be allowed to opt out their kids. There’s been a recent push to start educating kids earlier in school, when they’re around 10. The idea is that kids have reached puberty and already been indoctrinated with improper values by the time they get to sex-ed. I think an earlier start date is a terrific idea. I have a 9 year old and 2 year old boy and you can bet they’ll be taught about consent. And if they were to ever step out of line you won’t see me blaming their victim. (though I pray to the FSM I’ll never see that day)
Hopefully you all don’t think less of me. I understand how conservatives troll and turn things into victim-blaming. But it’s important to get past the reactionary stuff and try to discuss issues honestly. On the rare occasion I disagree with a progressive viewpoint I typically keep my mouth shut, but your blog seems like a safe enough place to discuss things and I thank you for that.
KatG
September 4, 2014 @ 4:42 pm
Dusty:
“In my first year of college there were seven reported on-campus rapes in the first two weeks of school. It was more than the previous decade combined.”
The assumptions you are making here is that the women did not take enough precautions or understand the risks of being a woman on campus and so that’s why these seven women were raped in the first two weeks of school. You are blaming the victims for their rapes and assuming they are ignorant of the basic rape prevention efforts young girls get drilled into them starting in elementary school with “stranger danger” and moving on to rape prevention and self-defense tips and classes in junior high on up. You are making the mistaken assumption that “prevention” tips they already knew could have somehow kept those women from getting raped, and that more women were raped on the campus because more women were somehow ignorant of rape prevention tips, rather than that there were active rapists who were targeting the school, the school culture encourages rapes to occur, and that the school’s security and support for their female students was lacking. (And let me tell you, it is usually that the school’s security and support for their female students is lacking. And by support, I do not mean giving them rape prevention tips.)
“Obviously the police went after the culprits.”
Well no, it’s not obvious. Because mostly the police don’t go after the culprits. And when they do, they often don’t prosecute the culprits. There is a young woman who as her performance art thesis at Columbia U. is carrying around a mattress with her as protest art while her rapist from a couple of years ago, who raped her in her dorm bed, is still a student at the school with her. This is a big risk because it means that other men who this pisses off might attack her. But let’s give her some rape prevention tips, shall we? Because surely she is ignorant of all that in society.
“But they also sent out warnings to students. The female students had became a high-risk population.”
No, the females were always a high-risk population. Because they are females. And because all college campuses are higher risk for rape, since like the last thirty years particularly. Which is why teen females are inundated with info about rape prevention in high school, senior year, and freshman orientation. Which apparently you either ignored if you are a female, or got to be privileged to skip if you are a guy. The females are aware from the age of ten that they are a high-risk population. That there were a lot of rapes on your campus is not unusual in general for campuses.
“Not talking about risk reduction would have been irresponsible. Likely it would have led to more victims.”
Again, you are blaming the victims. You are assuming that the victims were victims because they were ignorant and did the wrong things, not because they were targeted by rapists, no matter what precautions they may have taken. You are assuming that the actual women raped could have prevented their rapes if they just had better barricades, never mind that their rapist might have lived in the dorm and shared a bathroom with them, or other male students let people in, or they got grabbed on a sunny day on a central path on campus — which happens. You are placing the responsibility for what happened to them on them, and saying that any women whom you do not judge to have taken proper precautions earned her rape.
When campuses that have had rapes pass out prevention tips to the student body, particularly the women, they aren’t doing prevention. They are reminding the female students of stuff they already know to protect the campus from legal liability, to show that they are doing something — the very least something and probably one of the most useless things they could do. And they are simply telling women that rapes are their fault and they have to protect their bodies like they have to protect their stuff. Whereas men can go about their lives.
Campuses seldom give any education to the male students or the population in general about what consent means, about what will happen if you rape or assault another student (because it’s usually nothing,) or about intervening safely when a man or men appear to be targeting a woman. Campuses often don’t have enough security staff, have not trained that staff adequately and don’t punish or expel rapists even when there’s a fair amount of evidence and multiple complaints. These are all better prevention methods than telling the women students the same crap they’ve been told all their lives.
Prevention tips in the wake of sexual assault, harassment and rape are meant to do chiefly one thing, besides make the giver of the tips feel all toasty for having bothered — let the women know their place and that place is hunted animal. Women already know that they are hunted animals. It affects everything they do in their lives, every decision that they make. It keeps women out of places and opportunities, and it serves as an excuse to not make those places safer. It’s rattling the bars of their cage to remind them that they are in a cage. And it is victim blaming.
Dusty Wallace
September 4, 2014 @ 5:41 pm
“The assumptions you are making here is that the women did not take enough precautions or understand the risks of being a woman on campus and so that’s why these seven women were raped in the first two weeks of school.”
No I’m not. You’re just projecting that onto me. Seven women in two weeks on a small campus was unheard of for that area. The women at that campus went from being at high risk to extreme risk. I’m not sure what came of the case, whether their was a serial rapist on the loose or whatnot, but I know that notifications were sent, police presence was increased, and additional lighting was added to the campus. From what I understand, these women were actually abducted then raped. So are taking those precautions the same as blaming the victims? Absolutely not. It’s doing right by the victims.
“Well no, it’s not obvious. Because mostly the police don’t go after the culprits.”
True, but in this case the police were proactive. Possibly because of public pressure.
“Again, you are blaming the victims. You are assuming that the victims were victims because they were ignorant and did the wrong things, not because they were targeted by rapists, no matter what precautions they may have taken. You are assuming that the actual women raped could have prevented their rapes if they just had better barricades, never mind that their rapist might have lived in the dorm and shared a bathroom with them, or other male students let people in, or they got grabbed on a sunny day on a central path on campus — which happens. You are placing the responsibility for what happened to them on them, and saying that any women whom you do not judge to have taken proper precautions earned her rape. ”
No, none of this is true about me. Please stop assuming the worst. If a pattern of behaviour emerges among victims, then perhaps we might protect other women from becoming future victims. Common sense, not victim blaming.
“When campuses that have had rapes pass out prevention tips to the student body, particularly the women, they aren’t doing prevention. They are reminding the female students of stuff they already know to protect the campus from legal liability, to show that they are doing something — the very least something and probably one of the most useless things they could do. And they are simply telling women that rapes are their fault and they have to protect their bodies like they have to protect their stuff. Whereas men can go about their lives.”
That’s a big assumption. Not every campus nor ever dean is created equal. And I’d wager a guess that college officials are more progressive minded than the general population on these issues. Plus, on my campus they didn’t pass out fliers telling women to behave. They sent mass emails announcing there were possible prowlers on the loose, please don’t travel alone. That’s not victim-blaming, that’s saving people.
“Campuses seldom give any education to the male students or the population in general about what consent means, about what will happen if you rape or assault another student (because it’s usually nothing,) or about intervening safely when a man or men appear to be targeting a woman. Campuses often don’t have enough security staff, have not trained that staff adequately and don’t punish or expel rapists even when there’s a fair amount of evidence and multiple complaints. These are all better prevention methods than telling the women students the same crap they’ve been told all their lives.”
In complete agreement here. I will say that it’s likely the campus I was on did better than most others by their women. Bear in mind that the female population than the male.
“Prevention tips in the wake of sexual assault, harassment and rape are meant to do chiefly one thing, besides make the giver of the tips feel all toasty for having bothered — let the women know their place and that place is hunted animal. Women already know that they are hunted animals. It affects everything they do in their lives, every decision that they make. It keeps women out of places and opportunities, and it serves as an excuse to not make those places safer. It’s rattling the bars of their cage to remind them that they are in a cage. And it is victim blaming.”
I think the prevention tips we’re imagining are very different things and that perhaps is why it seems like we’re on opposite sides. And that really makes the point for me: Writing someone off as a victim-blamer may mean you’re ignoring something useful. Or maybe this idiom works; chew the meat, spit out the fat.
Ken
September 4, 2014 @ 6:24 pm
“In my first year of college there were seven reported on-campus rapes in the first two weeks of school. It was more than the previous decade combined.”
Also when I hear something like that, the word that jumps out to me is “reported.” When there is an increase in reports like that it could be an increase in rapes (as pointed out possibly more due to targetting, one or few specific serial rapists, or bad enforcement, etc. rather than women being less safe than previous years) but it’s at least as likely that there are just as many rapes as before but they are more likely to be reported than in previous years.
So more *reported* rapes in 2 weeks than in the previous decade combined could be from such a wide variety of causes that thinking women were any more at risk and needing to change their behaviors is a stretch. Considering how under reported rapes are, an increase in rape reports may oddly be a good thing.
It’s like those cases were a chronic disease becomes more common. Either it really is affecting more people or, as is often the case, we are just better at diagnosing it and no longer ignoring cases that were there all along. (And I don’t think it’s a stretch to view the rape epidemic in our country and especially our schools in public health terms.)
Avilyn
September 4, 2014 @ 7:01 pm
<3
I really hope one day I am fortunate enough to meet you in person at a Con or booksigning or something, because I'd love to give you a hug right now (with your permission of course)
KatG
September 5, 2014 @ 12:51 am
I’m not “writing you off as a victim blamer” Dusty. I’m trying to explain to you that what you are saying is victim blaming because you don’t seem to be aware that this is what you are saying means and that this is the message you are communicating to women when you say it.
“So are taking those precautions the same as blaming the victims? Absolutely not.”
Yes, it is, because what you are saying is that the women wouldn’t be abducted and raped if they had taken the proper precautions. You are saying it is their fault that they were raped. And that if any other women had thereafter been raped, after being instructed in precaution behavior, clearly it was their fault because they didn’t follow the precautions and reduce their risk like a responsible person.
Your logic is that women following the precautions prevents and lessens rape. It does not. This is a myth. And it is used to blame women for what happens. You are focused on making the women behave in a certain way on the claim that this will save them. It does not. It simply further imprisons the women. It does not deal with the rapists. Phone booths, increased security, improved orientations on how not to rape women and sexual consent — those things can help deal with the rapists to an extent. Telling women to take precautions does not.
And again, what you have ignored from me, from Jim, and from others is the simple fact that these women already know the precautions that you think are so important to tell them, that they are already taught them — by their families, by their friends, by their schools, by youth groups, by the Internet. By focusing on precautions that women already know, you are ignoring the bigger issues — that the culture and often the campus cultures support the rapists, not the victims. And concentrates on what the women should do (victim blaming,) as the most important thing.
This is not a matter of you being wrong or bad. This is not about you at all. This is a matter of you parroting sexist scripts that you don’t even realize are sexist because they are so ingrained in our society to spit at young women. And I’m not excusing myself here. One of the things my daughter looked at, for example, in applying to colleges is how recently there had been rapes on campus (not whether there had been rapes, but how recently,) and more importantly, how the universities handled the cases when there were rapes. (Answer: most of them handle it badly.) These young college bound and college women have a whole Net network about rapes on campus, looking at campus security and campus handling of rapes. Because they already know all the preventive shit. You don’t have to bring it up. You don’t have to talk about it honestly or otherwise. They know it. They already watch during their lives for dangers of being raped. What they are looking at is how universities may fail them, especially in the aftermath, which is the critical issue.
And yet, even knowing all that, even knowing that my daughter is perfectly well versed in all the evils that she has to hope don’t hit her and all the preventive crap, I was still yammering that preventive crap at her as we prepped for college — remember not to do this, remember this can happen. To which her response was eye-rolls and reminders to me to shut the hell up about it. Because I was simply talking out of fear and I was putting the onus on her (victim blaming before she’s even a victim.) I was reminding her that as a female, she’s a hunted animal. Both she and I know that this stuff which we invoke at women like some sort of charm or spell that will somehow protect them doesn’t do squat.
Basically, Dusty, you’re wasting everyone’s time when you bring it up, just as I was wasting my daughter’s time and telling her that she is always a victim. And the reason we’re bringing it up with you is to try to get you to see that your insistence that telling women what they already know and that this will somehow prevent their rapes is part of the overall culture of blaming women for sexual assault instead of the actual assaulters. (And for that matter, blaming men and boys who get sexually assaulted too.) Until that’s not the first thing that gets perpetually brought up, we will continue as a society to keep blaming women for their rapes and saying that this is the life they have to lead. We need to change the script, the one that says we’re just “educating” women instead of confining them. You need to change the script. I need to change the script. It’s not the women’s job to prevent their rapes. And we have made it so and it needs to stop.
And when it isn’t something quite as devastating as rape, but still a violation, like the leaked pictures of celebs, that script is even worse. We turn it into a discussion about tech security issues instead of how we still treat women as property and deliberately try to destroy successful well-known women and call them sluts. And we think that when we tell women not to go out alone that we’re just helping them “lessen risk.” We’re not; we’re calling them sluts who need to rein in their slut behavior by never being women unescorted. While we’re at it, we can tie a leash to their necks and throw a tent over them against their will and tell them they can’t drive cars because it’s not safe.
None of which will actually stop them from being raped, or having someone steal their private photos and spread them about the Web, or make fake naked photos of them. The problem isn’t them and where they want to walk. It’s the society that supports men raping them and doing little to deal with that problem, instead preferring to control where they walk and how — which also prevents them from rising to any equal position with men in politics, business and society.
So when something bad happens to women and the response in society is that the women’s behavior therefore needs to be more controlled and that will surely help the problem, it’s bullshit. And we all know it, but we still say it because we’re scared. But until we stop concentrating on teaching our daughters to control their behavior in the false hope that this will somehow protect them, and instead teach our sons not to rape women or men (and for that matter teach women not to rape or assault either,) and our society to view rape and sexual assault as serious wrongs whatever the circumstances, we will be blaming the victims collectively and reflexively. We will be shaming them and controlling their behavior and their status as human beings.
It is a problem when we insist on bringing up educating women on “reducing risk” as if they can prevent rapes and Internet sex bullying and death threats, etc. — and acting like they don’t know anything about it already. It is victim blaming. It does reduce women to less than human in the society. It is part of the backwards view we have of sexual assault and what women should put up with and how their behavior should be controlled. And that this is the most important thing, rather than the people who are raping them. And those people most of the time are their friends, relatives and romantic partners, against whom none of those “preventive tips” we hand women are going to do a damn thing.
So we all need to do better and stop talking about women in this way, even if we’re scared. Because it’s not the women’s behavior that is the problem. It’s the behavior of the rest of us towards them.
Dusty
September 5, 2014 @ 10:14 am
You’re the one parroting and I can only assume you didnt understand or read my comments.
If you think notifying and warning people of a sudden, localized outbreak of abduction and rape is victim-blaming, then you’ve lost the plot.
Jim C. Hines
September 5, 2014 @ 10:20 am
I’m going to officially say this back-and-forth isn’t going anywhere productive. Time to walk away, folks.
Lenora Rose
September 5, 2014 @ 12:31 pm
Rob: before you get too defensive, consider: Your response to your cousin and daughter was a concrete “This may help get the phone back”. had it turned out they didn’t have the GPS tracker, would your next response have been, “Then it’s your fault the phone was lost?” I doubt it.
Look at Jim’s list above: of the ways to educate to reduce risk, your suggestion fits #1 and ONLY #1. (Maybe 4, since it was technically a response to getting the phone stolen, but it was NOT equivalent to “You should have done X …”)
Lenora Rose
September 5, 2014 @ 12:34 pm
The thing is, the things women are told to do to protect themselves on and offline AREN’T equivalent to “lock the doors when you leave the house”. The things women are told are equivalent to ordinary non-celebrities needing bodyguards and flack vests, and celebrities needing tanks.
KatG
September 5, 2014 @ 12:52 pm
Fine. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-siskind/the-tables-turn-on-colleg_b_5769910.html
Lenora Rose
September 5, 2014 @ 12:53 pm
Not everyone brand new to university is familiar with drinking or knows how much they can handle. Saying “She shouldn’t drink to passing out” assumes she KNOWS that three of these drinks is a lot more alcohol than the three beers or the three cups of punch she’s had before without too much effect.
On my eighteenth birthday, the first time I EVER drank, I had ONE SHOT. I spent the evening feeling woozy and giggly. I didn’t think I was that bad, but my boyfriend of the time assured me it was obvious.
What if I’d had two shots? What if, instead of at a low key party with his siblings and some other friends in his parents’ house, I had been out at a no-adults party with a boy who was not as well-intentioned, who ‘encouraged’ me to have another, or two? What state would I be in? Would I have “known”? Would any amount of hearing “Don’t drink too much” have necessarily prevented me from going over the edge? No. No. No.
Don’t assume adult experience for adolescents.
Leigh Williams
September 7, 2014 @ 2:26 am
My God. This, this so much. I’m in IT; I’ve been trying to keep people safe for 20 years. I’ve been a feminist for 50 years. But I did not achieve the clarity of thought you display here. It’s not about the passwords and security questions, gearheads (that’s me). That’s another discussion for another time and another purpose. Kat is right; it’s about us and the evil we tolerate.
SallyStrange
September 9, 2014 @ 10:24 am
You’re kind of a jerk.
SallyStrange
September 9, 2014 @ 10:32 am
This whole thing has basically been YOU rehashing and working through YOUR issues regarding victim-blaming vs. “prevention”.
All the “prevention” tips you’ve mentioned have been widely known for decades, if not centuries. And yet rape is still at epidemic levels. When you drill right down into those tips, things like “Don’t drink too much” aren’t actually tips for “preventing” rape but tips for DISPLACING it, because unless you stop the rapist, there’s always going to be another drunk girl for him to take advantage of.
Rapists actually reference those tips and depend on people believing in their efficacy as a strategy for getting away with their crime. When you say, “Don’t drink,” the rapist hears, “Assault drunk women and you’ll get away with it.” And it works, it has been working for them, over and over again.
There are ways to actually PREVENT rape. But they are somewhat new strategies and bear no resemblance to the bogus tips you’ve been peddling here.
I wish you and every person who thinks like you would get a clue and stop supporting rapists.